Old is new, new is old

Been meeting up with a couple of old friends. e.g. old classmates. Never bothered to catch up with them like for 10 years. Some of them are a delight to see. Some are quite awkward to meet. Didn manage a good eye contact and a nice smile for those ppl whom I didn really have a good last impression of. Vice versa. But all of them are distant now. Each of us have our own little busy lives. Even for those who are delightful to see. And we know another meeting like this will be somewhere down a long winding road again.

So many years never seen, but yet, no one has ever really changed(in character). A few even have children now. And more and more are going to get married.. Hmm.. Everyone is growing old..

I met another group of old friends last weekend.. Really distant with them now.. One guy even turned out to be married with his wife being 4mths preggers. Wow..

Meeting up with old friends.. Doesnt really improve any situations.. i just feel as empty as before.
One of my ex classmates mentioned recently he has bumped into alot of his old time schoolmates. Immediately, what my bf told me, came to my mind. He mentioned there is a saying that all the people you have met before in your life, someday later they will come back in your life again. Sounds a bit sinister.. But thats ok. Im a curious cat, I like to know what people are up to these days, just for fun.

But recently these meetups, feel abit funny to me too. Time has really passed quickly. It also feels weird suddenly Im meeting all these ppl from years ago. Its like Im on a death roll suddenly, and I needed to see these ppl who have once appeared in my life, before I die.

I wonder what else is down the road for me..

Blabber on and on..

Ok Ok, before I forget, these are my new year 2008 resolutions........ Half a year flew by like nobody's business. And I have started none of it.

1. Save money
2. Good full time job - proper careerPublish Post
3. Take language course
3. Do more art projects on my own
4. Take art(painting/photography) course
5. Braces
6. Take some self improvement course
7. Keep fit incase need to go Summersonic

And looks like I got to plan Lasik on my list now.. Been getting eye infection regularly these few months.. Sigh..

Insomniac

Here I am, sleepless again..
My mind is busy with unhappy thoughts that keep me awake.

The subject is my ex colleague. The one that copies the food I eat. Even copies what I drink. And also the one that asked me how I draw my eyeliner. And yes, the one that went to Taiwan after I went, and the one that felt really jealous when I went Tokyo.
I am really disturbed by her. She has found a job with a magazine finally.
Even though it is not a fashion magazine and she's whiny about it.
I feel glad for her its a good chance to leave the present lousy company.
But feel that she is cunning in a way thats proven by her actions.

Last year when we were still colleagues, I used to tell her I am interested to work in a fashion magazine. All she could do was throwing wet blanket by saying its a v tough job with overtime all the time. Little did I know she started to apply for magazine job too after Im working freelance.
She is clearly aware that I am looking for a fulltime job. As a friend, she knows that fact, and she failed to inform me when she knew there was an opening for a fulltime job at the magazines and she applied it herself. Sly. When I asked her what other jobs did she apply for, she refused to say and just replied the magazine was the only one that replied her. She refused to tell me for fear of competition.

I dont think Im being petty right? She really is sly right?
And why should I pretend to be good friends with her when she is sly with me right?
I should distance myself from her. She suggests to meet up next weekend. I cant help but feel sickening at the thought I must dress ugly for fear she wants to copy me again and .. doesnt that make me pretentious and fake? And should i act happy for her actions? For having found a new job, for pretending to not know I would be interested in the job and failing to tell me?

She is also the one who refuses to admit she's going on a diet. She also jogs on weekends to loose weight. I think she is abit over the top. She is really jealous of tall pretty girls as she said so herself. When I openly ask her about her dieting, she just finds excuses and says shes on special diet cos she got pimples that day. Lame.

I mean... why is all the cunning & sly for? If you really want to be friends, then be open and honest.

I cant help but feel disturbed by these jealous cunning ppl in my life. I feel very disturbed.
I am so easily affected by other ppl in my life. I feel angry at myself.

Are her actions and behaviour clear to you that she is cunning, secretive and a very jealous person? She is so stereotypically Scorpio. And somemore her chinese horoscope is Snake. And Snake's character is also supposed to be cunning. Double whammy. Or am I just over-paranoid?